Baby Fever!!

When it comes time to think about having a baby, there are very mixed opinions! Some say wait until you have been married for at least a year to enjoy the “newlywed” phase, others say at 25 and 27 go for it! So the question I have is I know you’re never REALLY prepared, but when is it time to start our journey of becoming parents!?!?

Jamiee and I have only been married 6 almost 7 months but we have been together for 3 years. We have always been the “old married couple” of our group of friends, happier staying home watching a movie than going out and partying. We have both decided we are ready to start a family! So where do we even start?!?

Being two women trying to conceive a child is going to be a little harder than your average heterosexual couple. So obviously we are going to have to take different steps to achieve our goal of having a bundle of joy to call our own! There are a few different options that we have to consider.

As much as fostering or adopting a child would please us both, I want so badly to be the one to carry! Plus adoption can be a long waiting game for a newborn baby, which is what we would hope for! We both want to experience all stages of life with our child. As much as I believe those children all need loving homes, I don’t feel like, for our first child, adoption is right for us.

The option Jamiee and I are leaning towards is IUI or intrauterine insemination; it was where sperm is inserted into a woman’s uterus. The next question is a donor, do we use an acquaintance or go through a sperm bank. Each one has its very own list of pros and cons.

If we use someone we already know, the cost will be a little cheaper and we will already know a lot about him. The thing that’s holding us back from using a friend, even though they will have to sign their rights over and not be a part of the decisions in our child’s life, you never know what circumstances can change. The donor could one day decide they want a child of their own and that they don’t like the way we parent and take us to court and take our child.

If we go with an anonymous donor through a bank, we will be able to have a full medical background, be able to personally pick out what features we want in a donor. Since I will be the one to carry we can choose a donor that has some characteristics of Jamiee, the gorgeous greens eyes, the Irish heritage, the loveable pale skin and dark curly hair. We won’t have the worry of having a man control the life of our baby, though one day when the child asks about their father we will have to discuss the option to let them seek out the donor or not. The only real snag we hit when it comes to a sperm bank is that it is rather costly, and its not guaranteed that we will get pregnant from the first round of IUI. The average success rate for IUI ranges from 10-20% in one cycle and my family has a history of having difficulties conceiving, so on top of the already low success rate, going through a sperm bank makes me that much more nervous.

I have an appointment coming up in July with my OBGYN just to make sure everything is good and we have the green light to go ahead and start planning. Before that we are going to sit down and re-prioritize our finances, I know we will never be 100% financially ready for a child but honestly not many people are!

When the time comes and we begin our journey to motherhood, I will be starting a new section of my blog and bring you guys right along with us! Jamiee and I can’t wait to expand our beautiful family! <3